Feeling anxious about your initial session is completely normal, whether you're beginning counselling for the first time or meeting with a new therapist. I also get nervous when meeting new clients! I think it's important to be open with my clients about what they can expect from the counselling process, to alleviate some of the anxiety that stems from uncertainty. Every therapist has their own method for first sessions - this is mine!
As a therapist who primarily works with survivors of sexual violence and queer, trans, and non-binary folks - so much of the hurt and trauma my clients are carrying has happened within their relationships. Research consistently shows that a strong therapeutic relationship is the most important factor in positive outcomes in counselling. Therefore, my focus in counselling and especially in the first 2-3 sessions is on building an authentic relationship with you where you feel seen, heard, and accepted.
Before getting into why you're here - it is important to discuss therapist-client confidentiality and answer any questions you have about what this means. This is a critical part of informed consent, so that you can make decisions about what you share with me. It also gives me an opportunity to talk through how I handle situations related to my legal obligations. As a trans, queer therapist who works primarily with other queer and trans folks in my city, we can also talk about how I protect the confidentiality of my clients if we run into each other at a community event or experience overlap in our social circles.
After informed consent, my main goal in the first session is to get to know each other better.
Here are some of the things I might ask in a first session:
What are you hoping for from this first session together?
Is there anything you want to make sure we talk about today?
Is there anything you want to know about me?
Tell me about what your life looks like right now - how do you spend your time?
What identities are important to you? Is there anything you want to share with me about how your identities have impacted your life experiences?
What does your support system look like? Who is important in your life?
Tell me about your family. What are your family relationships like?
Are you spiritual or religious? How does that show up in your life? Do you have any rituals or practices around that?
What does self-care look like for you right now?
How do you cope with difficult emotions or stressful situations? What helps you when you're having a difficult day, week, or season in life? Who do you talk to?
What is going well in your life right now?
What sorts of things do you enjoy doing for fun or to relax?
What are you passionate about? What values are important to you?
What have you liked or not liked about previous counselling experiences? What has felt helpful or unhelpful?
What are you hoping counselling will help you with?
Do you have any specific goals for our time together? How will you know if you're making progress?
What would make a session feel successful / helpful for you?
At the end of a first session, I always ask:
Is there anything else you want me to know about you that we didn't cover?
How did our session feel for you today?
How are you feeling about our relationship so far? Do you have any feedback for me?
Is there anything you want to make sure we talk about next time?
How often would you like to meet?
Would you like to schedule our next session now?
The questions above are my framework for our first session together, but initial sessions can vary based on your needs. If you have a situation you need to talk through, we can put these questions on the back burner and focus on that. If you choose to begin by sharing your story, I'm here to listen and ask clarifying questions. If you want to jump right into talking about what's feeling difficult for you right now, I'm here to hold space for that too.
Counselling is your space to express yourself and I'm committed to creating a space where you feel safe, affirmed, and understood. Together, we can discover how to navigate the challenges you face, celebrate your strengths, and find a path to healing. I'd be honoured to walk with you on this journey! If my approach resonates with you, please reach out for a free 15 minute vibe check to see if I'm the right fit.
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